Les face it: if you are single and are traveling solo, getting laid is a huge part of backpacking and any kind of long-term travel. All the partying you’ve done, all the beers you’ve drunk, all the late nights you’ve stayed up, are ultimately just a prelude to your getting lucky. I’m sure all of you have your game up and don’t think you need my advice in the matter. Well – there’s some wisdom to be shared here, too, so I suggest you read on. The first part of this 2-post series is for the ladies, and in the near future, I will publish a similar guide for the fellas.
If you’re a woman, getting laid abroad should be as easy, if not easier, than back home. Tourist girls are popular among most locals just about anywhere you go. There are some geographical specifics, of course. If you’re white and especially if you’re blonde, you will be hugely popular in South America, the Mediterranean and the Middle East, but you might have less luck in South East Asia simply because most men there are too shy to approach you, you are likely bigger than an average local girl, and most foreign guys are going to be chasing after those same local girls. In this case, dating apps are your best friends.
In the countries where you are a popular item, you would need to develop a pretty thick skin to ignore the unwanted attention from strangers. Also remember that in Muslim countries, a foreign woman is an especially attractive target. Local girls are for marrying and bearing children, and generally can’t be fooled around with – after all, they all have fathers and brothers, and all potential suitors are well aware of that. As a foreign girl, you typically have nobody that can protect you, so in a way, you are a fair game. Therefore, choose wisely whom you are going to smile at or talk to.
Most of the pickup would take place in any drinking establishment or a place with live music, except in a Muslim country, where it can happen pretty much anywhere in a public space. Chances are, somebody will approach you sooner rather than later. Foreign, especially Latino men, can be extremely charming. If they ask you for a dance, be prepared to be swooped off feet – literally. Obviously, a passionate tryst would be a logical conclusion to a night of drinking in the company of a hot, fit, tanned local. But, for goodness’ sake, use a condom and never assume a guy would have them. Later the next day you might realize that he may have used you to buy him expensive drinks or food, but if it did not put a large dent in your travel budget, consider it a legitimate expense, even if you are not used to buying men drinks back home. And please make sure you check your purse as soon as he’s gone.
Normally, you wouldn’t have to worry about a guy stalking you or obsessing over you as a traveler – after all, you are constantly on the move and can simply slip away one day from his field of vision, should he become too obsessive. Of course, it is a little harder to stay fully anonymous in the age of social media, so be careful what information you share. I am not saying you should mistrust everybody – just don’t friend everybody you meet on Facebook, and if you do and things go sour, remember to unfriend or block unwanted people.
Problems might arise when things don’t quite end there. That is, if all of a sudden, you actually develop feelings for the guy an even more so, if they’re mutual. If that happens, you’d have to try your best to think very logically – what’s next? Remember, it might be a nightmare planning any future together with the man of your choice if he can’t even obtain a visa to your home country of has no money to do so, and you are not exactly Warren Buffett yourself when it comes to finances. Are you ready to completely change your life and move to Brazil, India or Tanzania? Do yourself and your family back home a favor and take a very long thought about the feasibility of you decision, whatever it might be. I have witnessed young European girls , who are bored with lackluster men from their home countries, move to a third world destination and sacrifice their education and other plans for the man of their “dreams”. Only these dreams have a propensity to get very pedestrian very soon after marriage. As in, how to get enough food, or deal with a husband who suddenly became obsessive or worse, abusive. Bottom line – foreign men might be hot and exotic in the period of courtship, but the tune they play after wedding, can be drastically different. At least your home boys are typically from the “what you see is what you get” category, and you know what to expect.
So take my advice and do yourself a favor: if you want to get laid on your trip, do it with another backpacker. He might be smelly from not showering for 3 days and his dance moves may suck, but at least it’s not going lead to a life-changing experience. And if anything serous does develop, well, at least he and you would hae an easier time planning your lives and your careers in unison. If you are going to screw a local guy, do it towards the end of your trip, when there is less chance you would remain in his town long enough for any serious feelings to develop. And if things do spin out of control, well, dive in at your own risk, but remember: you have been warned.